Toilet Tirade!
When I was a little girl, I desperately wanted to be potty trained. Very early. In fact, I chose the exact day it was going to happen. Unfortunately I don't have the photo, but there is one in existance of me at a very young age, standing in the hallway of my house with my diaper about 3 feet in front of me. I had taken it off, and screamed, "NO!" as loud as I could. My father, grabs the camera first, snaps the picture, laughs hysterically, and says, "I think it's time to potty train her."
The reason for said desperation about p0tty training, was my fascination for flushing the toilet. If I was wandering around the house, you could bet you could find me standing beside the toilet flushing the toilet.. over and over again.
So the other day I go to the movies. After consuming the 55 gallon drum of soda in a two hour span, an emptying of my pea-sized bladder is a must. Unfortunately. I'm not a huge fan of using public fascilities, but when you gotta go, you gotta go.
I walk in along the rows of stalls and peek into the first one.....
Then the next one...
and a third....
(Ok, so maybe it wasn't that bad.. ) But i finally found one I could use, that didn't have something sticking out of it, floating in it, or the seat wasn't completely covered in wet.
I came out of the bathroom and immediately just went off. "What the FUCK is wrong with people?! How fucking hard is it to flush the damn toilet? I would have to make a conscious effort to NOT flush the toilet when I finish with the bathroom. People are so disgusting. First off, how do you, as a woman.. who sits down to urinate.. manage to piss ALL OVER the seat?! How can you miss a target that is bigger than your whole ass!?
AND SECOND: Are we so starved for attention in this life that we have to leave our excrement behind for the next poor sucker to appreciate it?!
When did we become animals?! Hell even most animals disguise, bury, eat or relocate theirs!
I just don't get it. It's not hard.. when you finish in the public restroom.. FLUSH the FUCKING TOILET!
To further illustrate my disgust for humans, we walked out of the theater and in the parking lot laying on the ground, was a used, discarded DIAPER!!! WTF?!
and you wonder why I like dogs better than people.
So the other day I go to the movies. After consuming the 55 gallon drum of soda in a two hour span, an emptying of my pea-sized bladder is a must. Unfortunately. I'm not a huge fan of using public fascilities, but when you gotta go, you gotta go.
I walk in along the rows of stalls and peek into the first one.....
Then the next one...
and a third....
(Ok, so maybe it wasn't that bad.. ) But i finally found one I could use, that didn't have something sticking out of it, floating in it, or the seat wasn't completely covered in wet.
I came out of the bathroom and immediately just went off. "What the FUCK is wrong with people?! How fucking hard is it to flush the damn toilet? I would have to make a conscious effort to NOT flush the toilet when I finish with the bathroom. People are so disgusting. First off, how do you, as a woman.. who sits down to urinate.. manage to piss ALL OVER the seat?! How can you miss a target that is bigger than your whole ass!?
AND SECOND: Are we so starved for attention in this life that we have to leave our excrement behind for the next poor sucker to appreciate it?!
When did we become animals?! Hell even most animals disguise, bury, eat or relocate theirs!
I just don't get it. It's not hard.. when you finish in the public restroom.. FLUSH the FUCKING TOILET!
To further illustrate my disgust for humans, we walked out of the theater and in the parking lot laying on the ground, was a used, discarded DIAPER!!! WTF?!
and you wonder why I like dogs better than people.
posted by a_dog's_life at 10:55 AM
4 Comments:
Don’t think of it as bad hygiene, think of it as performance art.
BTW, as a toddler I was obsessed with flushing the toilet too. I used to put the end of the TP roll in and flush. I’d giggle as half the roll would unwind off the spool and go down the drain.
This was just awesome...bravo!
I really wish that picture of the diaper came out... maybe we should have lit it on fire like those people told us to do.
I wondered the same thing! If you're a girl, how can the whole seat be covered in "wet"??
...Well I just found out at work two days ago. I was in the last stall, when a girl came into the one next to me. Her mother asked her if she put down a paper protecter thing, and the girl replied "Psh, I don't even SIT on the toilet!"
They hover - and THAT'S what makes the mess. And I know for a fact a lot of people don't like to touch public Flush Handles BECAUSE of those people who spray all over the toilet.
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